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Prove:
Hell is Exothermic.
Thermodynamics Professor Robert Schambaugh of the University
of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering had written
a take-home exam for his graduate students. Dr. Schambaugh
is known for asking questions such as, "Why do
airplanes fly?" on his final exams. The final for
Spring Semester 1997 was no different. It contained
only one question:
"Is
hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer
with a proof."
Most
of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Byle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:
First,
we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some
mass.
If
they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.
So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what
rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving.
As
for souls entering hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more
than one of these religions and people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all people
and all souls go to hell.
With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now,
we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls
to the volume must remain constant.
So,
if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and
pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks
loose.
Of
course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
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